Laughing last, laughing best

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is an atheist-operated business that will rescue and adopt ("save") the pets of those who are called to heaven during the Rapture. They charge $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet. And the best part is, all sales are final and no refunds honored, for any reason. From their web site:

"If subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (aka is 'left behind') EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered."

Wait, I was wrong. The best part is, they already have 259 clients, which means they've made at least $35,000. I'm sure they'll sucker--I mean, comfort--plenty more between now and Saturday May 21st, the latest alleged Doomsday.

From the AFP article via Yahoo News:

When judgment day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.

"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Centre told AFP.

I can't stop laughing about this.

Countdown to Armageddon

[promoted]

...they've turned it on and we're still here. Three cheers for Science!


They're turning the CERN super-collider on in a few days, and it turns out that the world is not, repeat not, going to end:

Although physicists acknowledge that the collider could, in theory, create small black holes, they say they do not pose any risk. A study released Friday by CERN scientists explains that any black hole created would be tiny, and would not have enough energy to stick around very long before dissolving. Five collider collaborators who did not pen the report independently told CNN there would be no danger from potential black holes. |CNN|

Reassuring, yes?

Anyway, even though there's really no point, please consider this our official THE WORLD IS ENDING thread.

Not a passover post

I find myself disappointed to discover that a massive asteroid won't hit the Earth in 2029, or possibly 2036. In 21 to 28 years I'll be approaching retirement age and from two decades out I can say that navigating a post-apocalyptic landscape sounds more romantic than charting a slow decline into assissted living.

It would have taken some luck, obviously, to survive the asteroid impact. Ideally you'd like to be on the far side of the planet from the event, and even then you'd better have a deep hole and plenty of batteries. Seems like 20 years is long enough to get that together.