Step Two: Foreplay

My first thought, naturally, was "caption contest".
The following would have been my entry:

Now you can easily, quickly and comfortably increase the size of your bulge with the IJ Bulge Booster. It’s unbelievably simple but amazingly effective. Just pull the waistband on like a pair of underwear and push your boys through the opening created by the contoured support strap and that’s it! Your package will be lifted up and pushed forward, creating a remarkable increase in your male profile. |Source|

I find myself wondering why it wouldn't be simpler and preferable to either: (a) stuff a sock down there; or (b) make do. Perhaps you, gentle reader, are wondering how I became acquainted with the International Jock Bulge Booster. Blame Violet Blue.

A note on style

If you must wear purple, do not wear a cape.

Addendum: I've finally figured out who that was. Norah O'Donnell. I see that she's replaced fellow empty suit David Gregory as MSNBC's Chief White House Correspondent. This leads to obvious questions. Could Gregory pull off a cape? Would he even try?

The Corner does fashion

And it's hilarious:

As a distant observer of fashion, but a close student of the semiotics of female power, I am a little puzzled by Michelle's frequent choice of sleeveless dresses at official moments. She is an attractive woman, whose height gives her a commanding presence, and it is clear that she puts effort into toning those upper arms. So the dresses look good; but this is not about pretty. She is in her forties, and the sleeveless sheath is the province of younger women, and/or socialites; it works for cocktails or a barbeque, but not church or work. (And yes, she is clearly channeling Jackie Kennedy. But Jackie's clothes — and everyone's in the early 1960s — were a lot more grown up and sophisticated.) The sleeveless bit seems too casual, and maybe a little too revealing for the role she is currently playing, and the one to which she aspires. Successful First Ladies — and here Laura Bush is a good model — manage to convey a careful mix of distance and familiarity.

Emphasis--of the parts I find most amusing--mine.

Update, of sorts:

Jughead changed my life, and then Goober changed it back

I don't know if there are any hipsters out there wearing one of these hats ironically, but I caught a few minutes of the Andy Griffith Show last night, and Goober wears it with the kind of sincerity usually reserved for a ball cap or a kippah. Perhaps this was meant to reveal something about Goober's character. For my part, I couldn't quite get my head around the choice.

Union thug fashion

I saw one of these numbers for the first time yesterday morning. I was on campus on my way to do some face to face organizing. Having no way to carry it, I had been forced to leave my bat back at the office.

Somehow I managed to get the card anyway, and to hear horror stories about funding and workload in the department, and to look at baby pictures, but it sure would have been reassuring to have a weapon handy just in case.