Watch your mouf

A year ago, we saw a quiz thing that asked you to determine which of four odd phrases were euphemisms for sexual acts. By the time we had discovered this question, every item on the list had developed a carnal reputation. That is to say, every item. We are fast approaching a point where ordering a sandwich at a deli will land you in prison. While I'm intrigued by the dystopian undertones of this scenario, I don't necessarily want to live under its strictures, not least of which because I tend to frequent delis.

Also, I'm pretty sure that "Dystopian Undertones" is guttermouth for the male testes.

via PA.

Link roundup: porn and piracy

Where in the past I would have done quick insta-posts on these items, lately I've taken to throwing them in my Evernote notebook, in the hopes that they will be resources for more substantial Bellman posts down the road. Now, I am thinking that's unlikely, so here they are all in a rush.

1. Evernote! I highly recommend this service. It is free, it has a Mac client, a Windows client, an iPhone client, and a web interface, so I have my notebook everywhere I happen to be. importing and organizing information is very easy. And if you need something to push you over the edge into trying it, notes with images are scanned and put through text-recognition routines so that you can search against their contents. Pretty slick! It highlights the portion of the text that it thinks features the word I searched for:


2. I think some of my friends might be criminals.

An Iowa man was convicted of possessing child pornography last week because some of the books in his vast collection of Japanese manga (comics) appeared to depict minors engaged in sexual acts
...
39-year-old Christopher Handley, an office worker, was brought up on charges of possessing child pornography in 2006 when customs officials seized a package for him. It contained several manga, some of which were "lolicon" that showed what officials said were children being sexually abused. There were also images of bestiality. Handley has a huge collection of manga, and only a few are lolicon. He also had absolutely no child pornography of any description in his house or on his computer.

Nevertheless, Handley entered a guilty plea. According to Threat Level, it was simply because his attorney had exhausted all other options:

"It's probably the only law I'm aware of, if a client shows me a book or magazine or movie, and asks me if this image is illegal, I can't tell them," says Eric Chase, Handley's attorney.

Ruh-roh. If this extends to literary descriptions, I better return my copy of Lolita to the public library!

3. Piracy is a moral imperative. Eskil Skeensburg is an interesting fellow. He's developing a game called "Love" by himself that might possibly revolutionize the way games are developed, and is quite likely to be a fun game. But I also like reading his blog, which is mostly about developing the game, but meanders around to topics like,

It is a duty not a right to break an unjust law.
...
The only way to find pirates is to monitor all peoples communication.

The only way to stop piracy is to deprive people of all communication.

Either someone can own a message and stop others form saying it, or we have freedom of speech.

These are the stakes. Don't think it is about someone getting payed. The financial well being of me and all the artists I love is insignificant, compared to the basic rights of a human being. Supporting artists is one thing, stopping people form exercising their rights like freedom of speech or taking away peoples right to privacy is another.

I used to think that supporting artists was the right thing to do. Now I'm asking, do I longer want to financially support organizations who use my money to lobby governments and courts to take away my basic rights and freedoms? [Have they] made it morally wrong for me to pay, in their quest to force me to pay?

Yes.

sunday quotes vs. the black eye peas

via colihouse again

I heard “Boom Boom Pow” by the Black Eyed Peas while switching between radio stations in my car. The words “I got the that rock and roll, that future flow, that digital spit, next level visual shit” piqued my curiosity so I decided to listen to the rest. As the beat kicked in, I remembered sort of liking the Peas’ first album and dreamily wondered whether T-Pain and Kanye West have inspired an amazing new genre: cyber rap. Just as I was starting to smile at the prospect of a Funkadelic generation for the 21st century, Fergie’s brute battle screech crushed all my hopes of space-hop grandeur with just one verse: “I like that boom boom pow, them chickinz jackin’ my style, they try copy my swagger I’m on that next shit now”.
...
I like a little supersonic boom as much as the next guy, but until one of these Peas can be a little more specific about their zooming space shit I’m afraid I just don’t buy it. What exactly makes this song futuristic? Help me out. Until then I’ll try to avoid saying “You’re SOO two thousand and LATE” in my lexicon and look to the cosmos for answers.

I keep thinking Fergie is singing, "I got that fuchsia flow," which would be, you know, different.

The answer begins with a shark infested moat

"If they can seize buildings, what's to stop them from getting a nuclear weapon?" -- Shepard Smith, reporting this story tonight on FOX News Report with Shepard Smith.

How to get yourself off the torture train

"I don't give a rat's ass if it worked. We are America. We don't fucking torture." -- Shep Smith, FoxNews Anchor

The quote is from a webcast, but still. HuffPo has the video, as well as video of an on-air segment which is pretty remarkable in its own right.

A few days ago, Neil Sinhababu wrote:

It used to be that we were worried about Fox News defeating us in elections, or beating the drums for another Bush Administration war. Winning by big margins is nice, because we don't have to worry about those particular horrors for at least a little while. But now we have to worry about how Fox and the rest of the right-wing noise machine are going to continually sustain a substantial minority of crazy people, preventing the formation of an anti-torture consensus, an anti-war-of-aggression consensus, and anti-warrantless-spying consensus. Even if there's majority support for these views, anybody scrapping for power within the Republican Party will find reason to oppose them, just to get a majority of Republicans. |Donkeylicious|

It now seems possible, with regard to this issue at least, that Shep Smith is the canary in the coal mine, and that those on the right who seek to justify torture aren't going to be able to keep their arguments animated. Truth will out, as they say, and most people -- even those who have poor taste in politicians -- are liable to be shocked and disgusted when confronted with the truth about the Bush Administration's torture program. That fact, rather than the bullshit we've been hearing, is why the the program was shrouded in secrecy.

Eric Holder, fuck yeah!

In a blunt assessment of race relations in the United States, Attorney General Eric Holder Wednesday called the American people "essentially a nation of cowards" in failing to openly discuss the issue of race. |CNN|

In fuller: "Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards."

Name that tune

"The crisis on Wall Street started in the washington culture of lobbying and influence peddling, and he was right square in the middle of it!" -- John S. McCain

That's a Rezko dog whistle if I ever heard one.

Discuss

I’m sure Todd Palin could have bought a ton of arugula with the money he spent on his snowmobile instead. He just chose not to, which is fine. But that’s what these culture wars are all about — relatively prosperous cultural conservatives fighting with relatively prosperous cultural liberals about “postmaterial” political issues and using lifestyle cues as proxies for those battles — they’re not about poor people mobilizing themselves on behalf of the GOP. |Yglesias|

much that was previously mysterious is finally made clear

I've been a fan of D.R. Tucker's work since he took over Right Angle. It's like reading William F. Buckley as edited by The Onion as related by a 12-year old. I often am amazed that he can display such density in such density.

But now, Tucker may have revealed his secret sauce:

It’s only been a week or so since Tony Snow’s passing, and I can still hear him speaking to me.

Bonus quote from this column:

The average conservative is more intelligent than the average liberal, but the average liberal can explain his beliefs more skillfully than the average conservative.

Same old MLK Day post

...I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection. |Letter from a Birmingham Jail|

You can trust him. He saw a UFO.

"People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it's the end of times." -- Steve Allen, Stephenville, Texas

Hilarious and disturbing, if true

I don't know whether these are authentic, but on the Jeb Bush trivia page of tv.com, I find the following quotes:

Jeb Bush: The truth is useless. You have to understand this right now. You can't deposit the truth in a bank. You can't buy groceries with the truth. You can't pay rent with the truth. The truth is a useless commodity that will hang around your neck like an albatross all the way to the homeless shelter. And if you think that the million or so people in this country that are really interested in the truth about their government can support people who would tell them the truth, you got another thing coming. Because the million or so people in this country that are truly interested in the truth don't have any money.

and

Rep. Marco Rubio: No matter who the next governor is, Jeb Bush will still be the prominent Republican figure in Florida. He'll be without a title. But Jeb Bush's power comes from his ideas, not his title. And we are all about to find that out.

The page does not, however, cover Chang, or the unleashing thereof.

The perils of channel surfing

"This is something that you may not learn in school. It's nice that you can get it in a music video." -- Some idiot on VH1.

Blasting the cannons of truth through each man of this earth

"By and large, 90 percent of the people on the Nobel Committee are into child pornography and molestation, according to the latest scientific studies." -- Michael Savage

(via)

Still funny, though

I often take great comfort in the fact that studies have shown that writing often and well seems to help stave off Alzheimer's. But it only helps, as illustrated by the fact that Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's.

Bummer. But he's taking it very well (click the link for his full statement), but in true instaBellman style, I'll highlight this:

I know it's a very human thing to say "Is there anything I can do", but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.

Quote of the month

"There's also the question of who would control the weather."

Indeed

Quote of the morning

You know ... I don't know anymore who's going to win the Republican nomination. But I *do* know it will be a really old mean-looking dude in a really bad tie.

link

Quote of the day

"As with so much of the Clinton presidency, the act was tawdry but unthreatening to a Republican Form of Government." -- Sanford Levinson

Quote of the day

"As a man, the plight of pregnant rape and incest victims may be hypothetical but as a former fetus, the plight of aborted innocent human life is as real to me as rape is to most women." -- Joseph E. Schmitz

Quote of the day

"It's like being invisible. I mean, if a white dude does something nobody acknowledges that it was a white dude. They'll just say that it was a person that did it."