Thank you, Federal Aviation Administration, for giving us a new euphemism for sex

"Physically jostled."

"This is madness!" "Madness? THIS...IS...KRYPTON!!!"

Zack Snyder is directing the new Superman film. Discuss.










Img credit...and Smashley.

And it smells like death

Outlander.

Not since Apollonius of Rhodes have we borne witness to so stirring an epic. We see the kinship of Iron Age sailors and a sailor of the airless, starry void. We see humanity struggle with their shared burden against insurmountable odds, a struggle against the closing darkness. We see the blossoming of impossible love.

Spaceships, Vikings, Dragons, Fair Maidens, Ron Perlman. Yes, all of that, to be sure. All of the archetypes are here. Every story is told through this story. Here is the Odyssey. Here is Beowulf.

Outlander.

Here is King Lear. Here is The Godfather. Here is Predator (the first one).

Outlander.

All of life is here. And all that makes life worth living. And as we learn about CGI carnage, we learn about ourselves.

Here is Outlander. It is not to be missed.

"Let the Right One In"

Absolutely the best vampire movie I have seen in years. It really succeeds despite being a vampire movie. It's very Swedish, which in this case is a good thing. I can't really tell you why you need to go see this movie, but you need to go see it as soon as possible.



Here is some random bits of the film that I liked. None of these are the main reasons you need to go see the movie, of course, because like I just told you, I can't really tell you that.

* The characters hang out at the "Sun Palace."

* With one exception, the CG effects are incredibly subtle, yet effective.

* You find out the right and wrong ways to try to murder someone and/or to hide a body in Sweden.

* You find out the absolutely wrong way to try to commit suicide in, well, anywhere

Friday reviews

Braid (video game)



It's about time travel. It's a moving watercolor painting. It's a poetic reinterpretation of Super Mario.

If you have an xbox, you have to try this game. The demo is free. Go. Do it now.

Burn After Reading (movie by those guys)

It's funny, it's awesome. Unless you feel that they should only be doing the dark movies like Miller's Crossing (my favorite) and No Country for Old Men, you will probably like it.


Fringe (TV show starring Joshua Jackson¹)

I thought this was the promised American version of The 11th Hour. But no, it's just the X-Files with an old-school cranky Doctor Who thrown in (They know it, too. they defensively bring up Doc. Who references just to distance themselves from it.... It's weird.)

Oh, and spoilerz alert. It's pretty clear the Doctor Who guy cloned and/or designed his son, who will of course be the key to the whole "pattern." 

Blech.
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1 -- These days, he wouldn't last one minute on the Creek.

... and they remain eternally intertwined.

via egg

Bellman culture watch, "Drive monkey, DRIVE!" edition

I'm not saying that it's a good movie, but I bet you'd enjoy Grandma's Boy. Also, the FX network seems committed to showing it over and over and over again so all you need to do to see it is steal cable.

Great news!

Chev Chelios (pictured) appears to have survived that fall! Or perhaps this is set in an alternate universe. Either way, according to IMDB, Jason Statham is attached to the sequel of one the finest pieces of cinema of the 21st century. I give you Crank 2: High Voltage:

Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

Presumably the bionic heart has been constructed by Dwight Yoakam. Excelsior!

"Looks like we're not 0, 1 and 1 anymore!"

The title or this post is, of course, taken from a line delivered by Clint Eastwood in the penultimate scene of Heartbreak Ridge. Which movie, as I'm sure you recall, recounts the triumphant American invasion of Grenada.

In light of recent news, I've been wondering if there have been any (major) films about America's triumphant victory in Panama. Anybody know of any?

Did you know...

...about this?

A very serious Friday

This is a few years old, but well worth reading. Chock full of interesting bits it is.

And while it's a small point, the Empire's manners and decorum speak well of it. When Darth Vader is forced to employ bounty hunters to track down Han Solo, he refuses to address them by name. Even Boba Fett, the greatest of all trackers, is referred to icily as "bounty hunter." And yet Fett understands the protocol. When he captures Solo, he calls him "Captain Solo." (Whether this is in deference to Han's former rank in the Imperial starfleet, or simply because Han owns and pilots his own ship, we don't know. I suspect it's the former.)

(via)

Enoughus alreadyorum

Pardon my elvish, but I am fucking sick to death with this Harry Potter shit. And no, it's not Rowling envy. There, I just had to say that.

Of course, without this cultural force at work, we wouldn't have very amusing things like this to laugh at.

You are a demon!

Louder than a bomb

After disappointing out of the gate, Grindhouse collapsed 63 percent to an estimated $4.2 million. The hyped horror double feature from directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez limped to $19.7 million in ten days. |source|

I'm reminded of an episode ten or twelve years ago back in Manhattan, Kansas. A bunch of us went to see a midnight showing of Repo Man and we were the only ones in the theater except for a lone punk^[1] sitting in the back row. About thirty seconds into the film the punk yelled, plaintively, "Where is everybody? This is Repo Man!"

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1 Of the shaved head, white t-shirt, Doc Martins variety.

Another post about Grindhouse

I'm with DR. I give it an unqualified WOOT.

Some further notes:

-- Megan and I had seen Jungle Julia billboards around town for awhile. I was perplexed by the ad campaign, partly because I couldn't make out from the billboard what station they were advertising. "What a poorly designed advertisement," I thought. Now, of course, it makes sense. I never saw the one pictured here, or I might have caught on since she's dressed like The Bride (or, of course, Bruce Lee). The one in my hood had her in rollerskates.

-- Speaking of rollerskates, it was cool to see Punky, who actually worked at the Chili Parlor, playing "Punky," a bartender at the Chili Parlor. Apparently Tarantino told a joke about Punky getting drunk and falling out of his truck when he appeared on one of the late nite shows. (I also have some good drunk-Punky stories, but unlike Mr. Tarantino, I have the good taste not to broadcast them. Unless you ask very nicely.)

-- Watching Grindhouse was a lot like seeing any old film at the Alamo Drafthouse. As I have seen both directors at the Drafthouse several times, I don't think it's a coincidence. Austin kicks ass.

-- What are we to make of this?

-- Lastly, from Wikiped,

The Canadian release of Grindhouse also featured a faux trailer for a film titled Hobo With A Shotgun. The trailer is the winner of Robert Rodriguez's SXSW Grindhouse Trailers contest and was created by Dartmouth, Nova Scotia filmmakers Jason Eisener, John Davies, and Rob Cotterill. Outside of the Canadian release, the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX also features Hobo With A Shotgun in screenings of Grindhouse.

The trailer was funny. Hopefully it will get included on the DVD release, so those not fortunate enough to live in Austin or Canada can see it.

Did I mention that Austin kicks ass? I guess Canada's okay, too.

Woot!

You know what I'm talking about.

Notes:

• Robert Rodriguez received screen credit as his own chef.
  
• On the whole, I'd say that I'm anti-pustule.
  
• Even though I've liked all of his films, for some reason I'm always skeptical when Tarantino releases a new one. What's up with that? Lots of people must have similar reactions because Grindhouse didn't do well at the boxoffice.
  
• Planet Terror isn't getting much love in the reviews, but I thought it was hilarious.
  
• The character of Zoe was played by a stuntwoman named Zoe. That's pretty dang awesome.

Reader poll

Grindhouse: Worth seeing this weekend?