9/27/06

Who wants to be a Shatner? Part 3

(see also, part 1 and part 2)

Our second nominee for Shater the Second is....

DOCTOR SHAQ, a.k.a. The Diesel, a.k.a. M.D.E., a.k.a. L.C.L., a.k.a., The Big Baryshnikov, a.k.a. the Big Aristotle and Master, a.k.a, Superman.

Seven feet and one inch of Shatner Potential, Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal has a lot going for him in this competition. Shatneresque details include, but are not limited to, the following:

* He is a famous basketball player.

* He is a famous basketball player who is famously bad at a key component of the game, the free throw.

* Like many of our nominees, Shaq is a musician. His 1993 debut album, Shaq Diesel, went gold. He also performed a song on the Pootie Tang soundtrack.

* Shaq starred in the cow-tipping episode of Beavis and Butt-Head.

* He's a dilettante pro-wrestler, having attacked WWE superstar "Carlito" with a chair.

* Shaq is a reserve police officer with the Miami Beach Police, in which capacity he presumably carries both badge and gun. He is also an honorary U.S. Marshal and was previously a reserve officer in the L.A. Port Police.

* Shaq has his own martial art style, with the shatneresque name of "Shaq-fu," as chronicled in the video game, Shaq-fu.

* Shaq-fu is one of the worst video games of all time.

* In Curb Your Enthusaism, Larry David takes Shaq down.

* Shaq allegedly does his own stunts in his movies, since 7'1" stunt men are hard to find.

* Shaq played Kazaam the gentle Genie in Kazaam the movie. In this movie, according to Wikipedia*, the genie was trapped in a basketball for thousands of years. It must have been one of those Sumerian basketballs.

And finally, lest you think Shaq doesn't have the geek cred to be Shaterrific, remember that Shaq has played DC superhero Steel in the movie Steel. Steel is friends with and inspired by Superman. Shaq is also a big Superman fan in real life (see nicknames, above), and sports a tatoo that says, "You're not Superman."

Shatner Potential: 8.4 out of 10

What's your rating? Let us know in the comments.


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* This is a case where Wikipedia is not to be trusted, unless Boromir and Steven Tyler were both in Kazaam.

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