This is a little late, but I have three predictions for the new year.

1) Too unpopular and inarticulate to make it on the public speaking scene, George W. Bush finds himself relegated to the Reno / Atlantic City / Dubai appearance circuit. The money is good, but so are the parties. Bush quickly and publicly hits bottom.

2) Bill Clinton announces his retirement from public life and returns to Harlem to write his memoir. He makes very little news for some time, but in July the New York Times reports on page one that Clinton has been conducting an affair with an intern from the National Enquirer.

3) "The Ex-Presidents", a mid-season replacement reality show following Bill Clinton and George W. Bush as they undergo treatment for, respectively, sex addiction and alcoholism, provides America with a much needed distraction. A movement is quickly begun to repeal the 22nd Amendment. As the measure is broadly popular, its failure to pass by December 2009 leads some to suggest that the Constitution ought to be further modified to allow for the ratification of amendments through the mechanism of cell phone text message voting.

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