Dumb joke blogging, Bellman edition

We get a lot of hits from Sweden. Why? Well, because those swinging Swedes have a whole genre of dumb jokes called 'Bellman jokes' and if you google a string that includes 'Bellman', 'dumb' and 'jokes' we rank pretty high. Yay for us. But I can't help thinking that the average Swedish googler is disappointed to click through to this site only to discover that none of our dumb jokes are about Bellman.

Not any more.
  • Bellman, a Russian, and a German wanted to see who could swim from Europe to America the fastest. First out was the German. He swam 1 kilometer and drowned. Next came the Russian. He swam 1 mile and then drowned. Now it was Bellman's turn and he swam and swam until he almost reached the coast but he got tired and swam back.

  • There was a Norwegian, a German and Bellman, and they were all bragging about how small their fathers were. The Norwegian proudly stated that his father slept in a dresser drawer. The German said, "Bah, my father sleeps in a matchbox." Then Bellman said, "I don't have a father... He fell off a ladder and died when he was picking strawberries..."

  • Bellman was pushing a heavy wheelbarrow up a hill. When he was almost at the top the wheelbarrow tipped over and Bellman got so angry that he swore out loud. Just then a priest walked by and said, "If you use foul language, Bellman, you'll never get to heaven." To which Bellman replied, "I'm not going to heaven, I'm just trying to get up this hill!"

  • Bellman once tried to learn how to play golf. He hit ball after ball on the driving range without much success. "I've tried with six different clubs and I still can't hit the damn ball!" he sighed. "Maybe it's not the clubs' fault," suggested his golf instructor. Bellman looked down. "Can it be the ball's?"

  • A Dane, a Russian, and Bellman were walking through the forest when they came upon a track. "I think it's an elk track," said the Dane. "No, no," said the Russian, "it's clearly a bear track." Bellman didn't have time to answer because he was hit by a train.

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